Sunday, January 16, 2011

And I agreed to chaperone because....

Apparently I had a momentary lapse of common sense. Tomorrow COULD have been a great day off from work, relax, relate, release, but Nooooo, I VOLUNTEERED to be a chaperone for the field trip at the diva's afterschool group. They have no school and I have no work...and I am a FOOL! I like the afterschool teachers a lot. They are young, fresh with ideas and I'd love to hang out with either one/both of them in a bar or doing board games some weekend night.
We're going to Imagination Station in Wilson and I am kind of excited. I think it'll be fun to see something new and I think it'll be a nice "mommy and me" experience. We'll drive separately (because I HAVE to have my music) and I don't want to be in a van. Ever.
I'm ready. I think.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

I play with my phone too much

Today I challenged myself to update my Facebook status strictly by voice to text on my phone. As anyone knows, my work day can be mildly chaotic and there are few dull moments. I have to say, this was a challenge. I will try to translate what the status was SUPPOSED to be after what actually showed up on the screen. I did not edit it because it would not be legit if I did. I learned that my phone accepts the word Damn and even accepts the GD-version of it. (wow) but it frowns upon my other frequently used profanities.

Update #1: "Another #### train youth makeup kidding me."
Translation: "Another f*cking train. You must be kidding me!" (I had already been stopped 2 minutes earlier by another train.

Update: #2: "Money on my hardrive. Harris david pittsinger stupid ####."
Translation: "My god-you cannot drive! How do you drive, it's pitiful, stupid sh*t."

Update: #3: "Good god, it's on the floor."
Translation not needed. I had dropped my scrambled eggs on the floor. What a mess!

Update: #4: "I have no idea much they would all prostitutes."
Translation: "I had no idea today I'd be dealing with prostitutes."

Update #5: "So fast food fast food for crack."
Translation: I have no idea!

Update #6: "Tylenol or motrin for kids kicked in the head. I mean I know I'm having bourbon but what for her?"
Translation not needed. The diva got kicked in the head today at school during a randy game of crab soccer in PE class. I was on the way to pick her up from school early to assess the damage.

Random dinner conversation

Diva: "Mommy, what vegetable are we going to have with dinner tonight?"
Me: "Broccoli."
Diva: "Oh, I'm not a fan of broccoli. Can we have carrots and green beans instead?"

Since when did kids have to be "fans" of broccoli?